If you had asked me a while ago if I would ever do a boudoir session myself, the answer would have been a quick and confident no.

Not because I don’t believe in boudoir photography... quite the opposite. I photograph boudoir sessions regularly, and I see the confidence it brings women every single day. I see how powerful it can be to step in front of the camera and celebrate yourself.

But when it came to me… it felt different.

When you’re the one behind the camera most of the time, it’s easy to hide there. I’m comfortable directing poses, finding the best light, and cheering on other women as they step into their confidence. Turning the camera toward myself felt incredibly vulnerable.

All I could think about were the things I notice in the mirror.

The little insecurities.

The angles I normally try to avoid.

The quiet voice that says, maybe this just isn’t for you.

At the time, I had just joined the team at Blush Boudoir as a photographer and was still in training. Part of that process involved experiencing a session myself so I could truly understand what it feels like from the other side of the camera.

Even knowing how empowering boudoir can be, I was nervous.

A big part of me thought I might go through with it… but never actually share the photos.

My session was photographed by Tracy, and I walked into the studio that day with a mix of excitement and hesitation. Payton from Pabella Artistry did my makeup, and Chelsea from London Rose Artistry worked her magic on my curly hair. Which, if you have curly hair, you know can sometimes have a mind of its own...

But something shifted the moment I walked through that pink door.

The thing about being surrounded by a team of women who do this every day is that they see you differently than you see yourself.

Tracy didn’t look at me and see flaws. She saw light, shapes, movement, softness, strength. The same way I see the women I photograph.

Payton made the entire experience feel calm and effortless while she worked on my makeup, and Chelsea somehow made my curls look exactly how I always wish they would behave. Instead of feeling like I had to become someone else for the camera, I just felt… taken care of.

Little by little, the nerves started to fade.

There’s a moment during boudoir sessions that I’ve witnessed hundreds of times as a photographer. It’s when someone stops worrying about how they look and just starts being. Their shoulders relax.

Their smile becomes real. Their confidence starts to show, and I finally understood what that moment feels like from the other side of the camera.

For the first time, I stopped focusing on everything I normally critique about myself. Instead, I started trusting that what Tracy was seeing through her lens was the best and most beautiful parts of myself. The way I see my own clients.

Not perfect.

Just beautiful.

It reminded me of something I try to tell every woman who steps into the studio: the things we fixate on about our bodies are rarely what anyone else sees. The people around us see our warmth, our energy, our personality, our story.

And sometimes it takes stepping outside of your comfort zone to see that reflected back at you.

When I first did this session, I truly didn’t think I’d share the photos. They felt too personal. Too vulnerable.

But now I realize that sharing them is part of the story.

Because if someone like me - someone who works in this industry and still has the same insecurities most women do - can step in front of the camera and walk away feeling beautiful, then maybe someone else who feels nervous about doing a boudoir session might realize they’re not alone in that feeling.

You don’t have to walk in feeling confident.

You don’t have to know how to pose.

You don’t even have to believe you’ll love the photos.

Sometimes all it takes is trusting a group of women who already see your beauty… even when you’re still learning to see it yourself.

And for that, I’ll always be grateful for Tracy, Payton, Chelsea - the inspiring team of women behind Blush who made me feel seen in a way I didn’t expect.